Thursday, March 26, 2015

The day she told me she loved me..

Imagine you and your child are playing at the park, and you're having a great time, smiling and laughing. While you're playing you notice an older woman, who is also with her children, staring at you guys. suddenly shes approaching you, and you start to panic. As she approaches she says, "wow, your baby is so cute! i couldn't help but notice his/her adorable laugh!" and suddenly your heart calms down when you realize she is not a crazy person, just another mother. You two start discussing the joys of having a child and how much you love the little things about motherhood the most. you feel comfortable opening up about your experiences with her and you feel like shes being very genuine when she complements you saying "Wow you seem like such a good mother!". you guys are totally hitting it off and then she asks the dreaded question "You look so young, how old are you?"

Its happened to all of us. That question is asked and we suddenly feel like we are being judged. We suddenly feel like all the trust we've just built with some one is completely gone, even if the person was being completely genuine..

As a young mother, I often struggle with judgement(As most young mothers do..) It honestly drives me wild when people say "oh, you're a mom? you look so young!" I always reply with "well I am only twenty-one, but I love my daughter and i love being a mother, Shes the light of my life" and most of the time the person is shocked. Mostly because i look like I'm 17, lol i wont deny the fact that I have a baby face.. But instead of getting angry like I used to, I've learned to take it as a compliment because they have no idea the woman that I've grown into BECAUSE I was a young parent.

Honestly though, after allllll of the struggle and hardships we've faced, I would not trade a single thing. The day my daughter looked me right in the eye told me "wuv yew" for the first time, honestly was one of the proudest moments of my life and that right there life told me that I was doing something right.. I may not be a perfect mother, but I do know that I am a good one. The love and trust my daughter has for me shows daily when the first person she looks for when she wakes up is me. When she's playing with her toys peacefully and abruptly stops to make sure I'm within sight and smiles as soon as she sees I'm still here already looking at her. When she climbs over to me just to snuggle in my lap, that's when I know I am doing something right. And she is so oblivious (obviously) to just how much happiness and joy she brings me, and how much she helps me on a daily basis..I love her more than I can even explain, yes sometimes i do get overwhelmed and I have made mistakes, but that doesn't make me a shitty mom, that means I'm human! 

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