Thursday, February 27, 2014

Fearless and what it means to me

Okay you all know I'm obsessed with the word "fearless" and I'm gonna explain why. And YES it's super cheesy and little kiddish but I don't care! 

At the opening of her speak now show, Taylor swift says this

"To me, “FEARLESS” is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, FEARLESS is having fears. FEARLESS is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, FEARLESS is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. FEARLESS is falling madly in love again, even though you’ve been hurt before. FEARLESS is walking into your freshmen year of high school at fifteen. FEARLESS is getting back up and fighting for what you want over and over again… even though every time you’ve tried before, you’ve lost. It’s FEARLESS to have faith that someday things will change. FEARLESS is having the courage to say goodbye to someone who only hurts you, even if you can’t breathe without them. I think it’s FEARLESS to fall for your best friend, even though he’s in love with someone else. And when someone apologizes to you enough times for things they’ll never stop doing, I think it’s FEARLESS to stop believing them. It’s FEARLESS to say “you’re NOT sorry”, and walk away. I think loving someone despite what people think is FEARLESS. I think allowing yourself to cry on the bathroom floor is FEARLESS. Letting go is FEARLESS. Then, moving on and being alright…That’sFEARLESS too. But no matter what love throws at you, you have to believe in it. You have to believe in love stories and prince charmings and happily ever after. That’s why I write these songs. Because I think love is FEARLESS."

Music has had such an influence on my life it's crazy. I connect with music, Taylor swifts in particular, more than I connect with other human beings. It's crazy. When I try to explain my Taylor swift obsession to people they literally look at me like I'm crazy. And I'm like NO NO NO! It's so much more than the music. It's about those moments when I'm falling a part at 3 am, and I feel so alone and weak that I'm finding comfort in her lyrics. I'm connecting with her lyrics and her music. It's about the feeling that you have when you're realizing that you're not worthless like someone had previously made you feel.  It's about finding an escape and finding yourself dancing in wonderland, because let's face it, her music is so freakin catchy! It's about realizing that life happens and growing into stronger, more loving human beings. It's about being young and fearless.. 

 Lol, so because I'm a die hard swift fan, no seriously, I have the word fearless tattooed on my shoulder. I got the tattoo because I've never felt more inspired than hearing the quote that Taylor wrote about being fearless. To me, being fearless is not about being "un-afraid" it's about being scared and feeling weak, but STILL fighting for your dreams. So for me, as a young, single mother, I use the word fearless as my motivation to be the best mom I can be and continue to fight and work hard for my daughter. 

I have such a huge heart for other young mothers, I used my motivation to help start a young/teen mothers support group at my church where I mentor about 30 other young mothers. I could sit here and write a literal essay on how I became a mother and everything I have been through but i won't bore you all lol(jk if you're really interested go check out some of my other blog posts!).. I just wanted to take the time to say that Taylor swift has been one of the most influential people in my life. She was the soundtrack to my teenage years, and she was subconsciously (lol) the only person who was there for me at my weakest moments. I wish I could personally thank her for being there when I lost my mother, all of the countless break ups and friend fights I had in junior high and high school, when I found out I was pregnant, when I gave birth, when my daughters dad walked away from u and all the moments in between. I honestly can say that if it wasn't for her music I don't think I would be as strong as I am today.  I've been a fan since her first single. Since her first album. I've been to countless shows of hers, but I've yet to meet her. But I promise you ONE DAY, I will meet her and I will personally thank her for helping change lives. 

Ps, I am so excited for 1989, though I've yet to buy my ticket due to my financial situation, one of my very close family friends and personal mentor has been gracious enough to help me get a ticket and I'll be purchasing it next week!! Yay!! 

Instagram: @mackenzeesmomma_

So I don't want to say that my tattoo is all because of Taylor swift cuz that's not it.. to me it's a reminder of all the struggle and hurt I've been through. It's a reminder that I stayed strong and now I'm standing even taller. It's a symbol that I looked fear in the face and said "you don't scare me".. To me, my tattoo is a symbol of me taking control of my own life instead of letting people control me and make decisions for me. All my life I've always let people tell me who to be, and I didnt wanna be that person any longer. I found my inner strength and I've never been happier <3 

Ththis is a picture of a blanket that my best friend of 12 years made for me the Christmas right before I got pregnant because fearless was our song.. (Long story behind that haha) and then if found out I was pregnant and fearless just sorta stuck (: 

❤️Thank you for reading!! 

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