Thursday, March 27, 2014
#noteenshame/ my life long dream.
One thing I am beyond passionate about is being a young mother. But Of course you already knew that, lol. One thing angers me to the core is when people "shame" teen girls for getting pregnant. Yes, it's going to change their life. Yes, things are going to be REALLY difficult for them. Yes, they are going to struggle majority of their life.. But what these young mothers need is support, not being put down. and when the world realizes that, There will be a lot more motivated teen mothers working hard.
When I was pregnant I was blessed enough to be a part of an organization called "having a healthy baby" and basically it was just a clinic that provided tons of classes,for free or little cost depending on their insurance and specific case, for any woman who was pregnant. I took every single class I possibly could because I wanted to educate myself. And as I was taking those classes, I also started working at motherhood maternity when I was 12 weeks pregnant. I was so knowledgeable and clients just loved learning mew things from me! As I became more and more visibly pregnant, clients would often ask "how old are you? You seem so young!" And I would politely reply "I'm 18, and yes I am young but I am very excited to become a mother" and majority of the time, especially with the older clients and the mothers of older clients, they would completely change their attitude towards me in a negative way. Even more so if they noticed that I wasn't wearing a wedding ring. I felt embarrassed and ashamed sometimes, I stated wearing my promise ring that my daughters dad had given me on my wedding finger while I was to work, even after we broke up! It hurt me to know that even though I am happy to be becoming a mother, people were looking down upon me..No mother should ever have to feel that way no matter what the circumstances are. Often times I hear people relating teen pregnancy back to religion and it bugs me so much. Religion has nothing to do with it. Not every single person on this planet is religious or believes the exact same thing you do.
As a teenager, it is not ideal to become a parent and have to give up everything for your child. It is beyond hard but with the right support and the right guidance these young women can be just as good, if not better, as a woman whose in her 20s-40s. I want to change the way the world views teen mother and I will not stop until this stigma that "all teen moms are careless whores who turn out to be bad mothers" is GONE.
Of course with anything there is always going to be that select few that are not doing good for themselves or their children, but my goal is to reverse the stigma. I want to change the stigma to "teen mothers are amazing mothers who work hard for their children just like any other mother would".. Most young mothers are more than willing to learn, but when they are constantly being put down, it's harder for them to reach out for that help. I want to end that. NO MOTHER, no matter the age should be Afraid of asking for help when she really needs it. and NO MOTHER should ever feel ashamed for asking for help.
We should be uplifting and embracing these new mothers, just like we would be doing for any new mother, and educating them. These young women are raising our future generations. We need to be teaching how to efficiently care for and make life decisions for their children. JUST LIKE WE WOULD ANY OTHER MOTHER.
***I want to make something clear though, I do not condone teen pregnancy.. I do not support the idea of teen girls, especially the younger ones, purposely going out and getting pregnant. HOWEVER, once the teen is already pregnant, she deserves and needs support. She needs to know that she can become an amazing mother if she put her heart and soul into it. She needs to know that she CAN continue to finish school, that she CAN attend a university, that she CAN become successful in a career one day, that she CAN get through the hard times and the good times with a smile on her face.
I wish I would of had more support from my family and friends when I announced that I was pregnant..and that's honestly why I want to do this. I have a dream that i will one day make come true. one day I want to create a center where teen mothers can feel welcome to come as they please to take classes educating them on the health and well being for not only themselves but for their children. A place for mothers to come if they need shelter. A place where a young mother feels safe and loved. A place where young mothers can connect with each other so they know they are not alone. A place where young mothers can receive counseling for any situation she may be enduring. A place where a child of a young mother feels welcome. A place where she can learn and grow and ultimately become the best mother that she can be. Better mothers create a better world. and i truly believe that one day all of this will be made possible.
I know I'm not the only person whose ever done something like this in their life, but I want to bring something like this to my community. Just like I have with the "teen mops" group at my church.