Thursday, August 7, 2014

Forever changed

Something I've never really talked about openly is the reasons I chose to have mackenzee. Many of you know the circumstances of me getting pregnant with her, but I've never really spoken out about why I chose to keep her. My enitre family, one of my best friends included, all urged me to get an abortion. My dad even tried to bribe me..even mackenzees dad wanted me to get an abortion (now remember he planned to get me pregnant) when he saw just how happy I was. Everyone was so cruel about me wanting to keep was always "you're gonna ruin your life" "what are you thinking" well I'm thinking that I made an adult decision to have sex, unprotected, and now I have to deal with the consequences but my child is by no means a "consequence" of having sex. See the problem with society today is that we shame women and girls who become pregnant young and unmarried, but what we forget is that reproduction is a natural human instinct. Once I knew mackenzee was there, I couldn't even begin to fathom how excited I was.

But you see, I full heartily went into this pregnancy knowing that I would most likely become a single mother. I knew that her father and I wouldn't stay together, he was too selfish and I was not willing to conform and live his reckless lifestyle. But I was okay with that. You see, I've always been independent and hard working. I've always done what I needed to do to get through things, so why would adding mackenzee to the mix be any different. To me it wasn' parents always threw it in my face that I would always struggle because I was quote A single mother unquote.. but isn't that part of life? You know that famous saying "flowers have to sit through the rain in order to grow a little" well that's the way that I look at motherhood.

I think the reason Ive held onto hurt feelings and resentment for my parents  for so long is because they doubted me. Instead of saying, "Melissa you can do this youre gonna be great" they said " you're gonna fail and you're gonna be a horrible parent" BOY DID I PROVE THEM WRONG! Because here I am standing on my own two feet, stronger than ever. I fought for this life, I fought for my daughter to have a chance at life and I'm so glad I did. She's beautiful and soooo many people love her. I would be absolutely lost without my mini by my side

I chose to keep my child because I'm a dreamer, and because I was ready for an adventure. And yes I'm comparing motherhood to an adventure because it truly is! Every single day brings new challenges to our life, but I wouldn't trade it for the world. It alllll comes down to the fact that I love being a young mother, I love having responsibility, and I love having someone to live for beside myself, and besides god. 

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