As soon as mackenzee saw me, she started screaming even harder and trying to climb up to me. I immediately ran to her and tried to pick her up, but when I got to her little crib, it looked like the nurses were holding her down. Apparently the minute she woke up, she started thrashing her body and trying to rip all her cords and IV out. The nurse said she had been crying and saying that she wanted to put on her princess pj's. I sent a nurse to go get them from Gemma, who was waiting in the waiting room. Mackenzee kept trying to rip all the cords off of her and she was still screaming at the top of her lungs. She was throwing her body and turning bright red. This was he most horrific thing I've ever experienced. I was holding my child down with all of my strength so she would not hurt herself. I saw the fear in her eyes and it killed me. I began sobbing when she ripped her IV out because I, her mother, could not even get her to calm down. The nurse could tell I was hurting and that I felt defeated. She told me not to worry, that a lot of young children actually act this way when coming out of anesthesia. I was really shocked because I have never experienced anything like this before.
Once they got her IV back in, they gave her some pain medication to calm her down and she finally fell asleep in my arms. While she was sleeping on my chest, the smell coming from her mouth was making me really sick to my stomach. The nurse said it was because they had to cauterize the area to stop the bleeding, so I was literally smelling burnt flesh. I could not imagine how mackenzee was feeling tasting that!
And here I am, writing you this message. I am currently sitting in a huge chair that is supposed to double as a "Bed" for a parent who stays with their child. This chair is so stiff and it does not recline. You know, it is crazy, when we first walked into this room, I did not even think twice about what an inconvenience it was going to be for me to sleep in this chair. All I could think about was Mackenzee and what was going to help her be most comfortable. That's what you do when you're a mother. You sacrifice for your child without even thinking about what you're giving up. Even right now, my back is killing me, my leg is numb and my stomach is killing me, but all I care about is knowing that my sweet girl is taken care of. I am thanking God for keeping his arms wrapped around me through this whole thing because I could not have done it without him.
** Thank you for reading! If your child is suffering from something and people are making you feel bad for seeking help, Do not listen to them. Follow your gut. This surgery has potentially saved my daughters life. I promise you won't be sorry for seeking help. Wouldn't you rather be safe than sorry?Love you! XOXO- M E L I S S A