Monday, February 10, 2014
My journey with Christ
Growing up, my family was not religious..as a child, we went to church every Sunday and then suddenly we just stopped going. I never knew who Christ was until I was 18 years old, 8 months pregnant. My step mom started getting really big into church about 6 months before I got pregnant but I never cared enough to tag along. That is until I found myself 8 months pregnant and alone. I was feeling so guilty crying myself to sleep over and over, putting all this unnecessary stress on my unborn baby so I thought id give it a go.
So there I was, 8 months pregnant and huge, trying to hide my baby bump from all the judgemental stares. Surprisingly though, there were hardly any. Every single person that looked my way welcomed me to the church and made me feel overwhelmed with love. I broke down into tears as I could literally feel the spirit of Christ rushing through me. (I know that sounds so weird haha) that is what I needed.its almost like he spoke to me and said "Melissa I've been calling on you and waiting for you for you for so long and here you finally are!" My heart was sooo broken and I was so hurt but I suddenly felt safe there with god. I don't mean to make it sound like this was the moment that I became a Christian, but honestly this was the turning point for me. HahH I hate sounding all sappy Christian but finding Christ has seriously changed my life. To me, it's more so just being at peace with my inner being and with my internal struggles..I came to the realization that every single time I cried myself to sleep, god was there just waiting for me to reach out to him.. He wants to comfort me but I have to want it too. The moment I realized that god has a plan for me, and that what's meant to be will work itself out was the moment my life changed forever.
I just want to say that I am beyond proud to call Lisa (my stepmother) my mother.. As much hurt that we went through could never take the away.. She's an amaaaaazing woman with such a huge heart and it shows through everything she does. I met a woman at church tonight and she spoke so highly of her and she didn't even know that she were my mother until I told her! I am beyond proud of how far she's come on her journey with Christ and even how far my dad and myself have come because of her..we have our differences and we view things really differently but at the end of the day that woman is so powerful.. Really, One day I hope to be half of the woman and mother that she is.
One of the most common misconceptions that people, even sometimes other Christians, have of "Christians" is that you have to be perfect and never sin.ever. Or you're not worthy.. But that's not true. NO ONE is perfect and everyone sons in some way or another. People often forget that life is hard, and sometimes we are faced with decisions that we must make..but no matter what decision you make, Christ ALWAYS restores..he can change your perspective on any situation if you allow him into your life. And honestly, that's why I do what do with this blog and my instagram..I show my struggles.. I show that I am not perfect.i show truth and I do not try to hide my flaws.I have ALOT of growing to do with Christ, but that does not make me any less of a Christian..
Now I don't regularly attend church every Sunday because my work schedule doesn't allow it sometimes, but I try to go whenever I can. I do however have a very personal relationship with Christ. I read my bible regularly, I check in with god every single night just by having a simple conversation..I lay all my worries, my fears, whatever is bothering me out for him and he helps me carry the load. Since I've started doing that, I go to sleep thankful for what I have instead of stressing and worrying. I am such a happier person these days and it's all thanks to god.
It takes a lot to build a relationship with Christ but the best decision I ever made with my life was finding Christ! I realllly encourage any of you actually reading this to just try it. Maybe you're not ready to jump into going to church every week and what not, but just try having a conversation with god..you never know where it will take you!